Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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