those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Randomize
