Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
