the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
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he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
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I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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