Say something about gay babies.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
