....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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