PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Pants 0. Shit 1.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
