Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
