I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
