Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
