You can't motorboat a personality
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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