sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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