Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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