Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
