It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
