Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
