how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
