idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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