Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
