We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
