first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
