dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
