I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
