Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
