Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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