Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
