He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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