Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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