please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
