finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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