Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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