Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
