if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
