He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
