TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
