i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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