How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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