Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also, beer. Big fan.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
