i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
