Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
