pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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