3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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