i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I understand Curling. That high.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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