She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
