I can tuck mytits in my pants
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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