please come you make the beer taste better
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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