Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
