I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
