The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
