i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize