It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I have already put on my inside pants.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
