Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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