I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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