can u get pink eye on your cock?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
