I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
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we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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