you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
