Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I need a burrito and a hug.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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