I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
