I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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