So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
