Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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