no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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