Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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