yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
