dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
