I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
